Here’s My Sign, Don’t Say I Didn’t Warn You

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I think it’s a universal truth that when you’re first dating someone you work really hard to tuck your crazy safely out of sight until they’re way too sucked in to care. Then, once they’re hooked on how awesome you are, you start to let out the crazy in a slow trickle, like a silent fart or a tire with a nail in it. Is that a fair statement?

So WHY is it that, the more that you try to be hide the crazy the faster and more profusely it just pops out?? It’s like trying to fit size DDD boobs into a DD bra or constantly squeezing your butt into a pair of spanx… and I have been down THAT road enough to know. Eventually it’s not so cute anymore.

Here’s a novel idea – why don’t we all just wear our crazy on signs? Or hell, at least stop trying so hard to hide it. Wave that freak flag (not so) high! At least then it’s not so shocking since you’ve let them in on the secret from the beginning.

So when some of your crazy slips out at, say, a quiet restaurant while laughing at fart jokes with crumbs on your chest, and that special person looks at you like you’ve got two heads, you can be like “it was on my sign, you can’t say I didn’t warn you”.

Imagine how awesome it is when the circus act that is your life (starring the bearded lady) is happening all around the two of you and he’s not running straight for the next train out of CrazyTown. In fact, he’s willing to become a resident, because let’s face it, anyone that accepts your crazy so readily probably has a few fire-eating, lion-taming, trapeze-flying, anvil-juggling acts of nutso of his own and has been looking for someone just like you.

Seriously, think Ringling Brothers and Barnum & Bailey… two big circus joined into one giant mega circus. Way more entertaining, right?

Maybe it’s a good thing to know that, no matter how much of your weirdness is on display or hidden away, the people that matter still want to stick around. It’s the test of whether it’s meant to be or not. I mean who wants to wear spanx all the time? Peeing in those is a real bitch.

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