Observations

Standard

I think it’s pretty funny that most people from other parts of the country consider Florida part of the South. It’s NOT.

Any state where you ask for coke or sweet tea and there’s even a chance that they’ll tell you that they only serve unsweet tea or (gasp) PEPSI products… that ain’t the South. Sorry.

Nevertheless, Florida has grown on me with it’s weird charm. I think it’s cool here… the blendings of different cultures and so many people comes from such cool places. Since being here I’ve met people from all over the globe: Jamaica, Honduras, Costa Rica, Canada, Scotland, Ireland, England, France, Belgium, Italy, Egypt, Hawaii Micronesia, West Indies, China, Japan… the list goes on and on. I even once met a dude that was from Wymoning. Who knew people actually lived there????

Even with it’s charm Florida is a weird, weird place.

First of all I find it outrageously hilarious that people here think that Georgia is more podunk and backwater than this place and that thus gives them license to make funy of MY accent. I mean,  North Florida area IS South Georgia in my opinion so who’s calling who podunk?!? LOL

Second, Florida toilets, in this whole initiative to be green and stuff, are “low-flow” toilets. As a result, they flush even harder to make everything go down, causing little splashes of (ick) toilet water to spatter all over the seat. WTF?

Third: In all the time I live in Georgia – and maybe I just missed the opportunity to witness this – I have NEVER EVER seen one car tow another using a PIECE OF ROPE. I have lived here six years, and witnessed this in Florida 11 times. It makes no sense. And there’s always a “driver” in the second car to steer it, which makes it all a little more comical.

Fourth: Florida is  – and remember, this is just my opinion – one giant prehistoric nature preserve. Every scary bug you can imagine is bigger here: Mosquitos, ants, spiders, roaches (which have WINGS!!), wasps…they’re all humongous and ready to eat you. You can even see’um the no-see-ums… that’s crazy!! If one of these things sting or bite you (and yes, even the flying roaches) the bite would swell to the size of a cantaloupe. One of my roommates got bitten on his foot by a spider. By the time he finally went to urgent care, the affected area was so swollen that he couldn’t wear regular shoes. They had to drain and cut out the puss-like part of his toe! AAAAAhhhhhh!!! So people are willing to try anything to avoid getting bitten. I watched a close friend slosh mouthwash around his patio because it supposedly deters bugs. He made his wife go looking for bounce dryer sheets for us to stuff in our pockets. In the meantime, I’ve seen other people build what I call “pterodactyl cages” around their backyard area and pools to keep the bugs out, which just raises the ratio of bugs in all of the non-protected yards. Yikes.

Fifth – Raise your hands if you live in the contiguous United States of America and have to assume that everybody of water has an alligator in it. What, no one?

Sixth – And this is my favorite… only in Florida will someone call 911 because McDonald’s ran out of chicken nuggets. TRUE. STORY. http://www.foxnews.com/story/0,2933,504125,00.html

That’s just the randomly weird stuff that I can think of off the top of my head. There’s even more here: http://weblogs.sun-sentinel.com/news/specials/weirdflorida/blog/

With all that weirdness said and done, Florida is still a pretty nifty place.

 

Advertisements

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s