Bits and Pieces

  1. Two weeks ago, I used the ladies’ bathroom at work, and when I was done, I realized that I’d forgotten to lock the door! Now I double, triple, QUADRUPLE check before I unfasten my pants. Nobody needs a free peepshow at work.
  2. To make the BBE better understand this history of black people, I am arranging a list of movies he should see regarding the African-American experience in America. Kinda like a reading list but with moving pictures. I refer to it as the “African-American Film Festival”. I’d hate for him not to get the Color Purple references whenever he visits my parents’ house “You told Harpo to beat me”!!
  3. I am re-reading the Anne of Green Gables series on my Kindle right now, and putting off reading the book for my book club… “The Immortal Life of Henrietta Lacks“. It’s gonna be depressing, and make me angry at the establishment! You can see why I’m hiding in my magical little world created by L.M. Montgomery, right?
  4. Whenever I pee, I check to see if it’s the “light lemonade” color that the Get Fit With Nick nutritionist told us it should be.
  5. I accidentally touched a frog that was chillaxin on the glass door into the office. Will I get warts?
  6. I’ve been taking fiber supplements for a few weeks now, and ripping out the wrost farts known to man ever since. This morning I accidentally let one fly and BBE yanked the covers over my head, effectively choking me in my own Duth Oven. So not cool.
  7. I keep tabs on people that I notice NOT washing their hands. Ick.
  8. I’ve always wanted to go to a Keith Urban or Taylor Swift concert, but I’m paranoid that I’ll be the only brown person there. Is that weird? I have my own cowboy boots!!
  9. Same goes for Celtic Woman, minus the cowboy boots.
  10. THIS IS HORRIBLE BUT whenever I see a really big person that looks like a hot mess, I nudge whoever’s closest to me (BBE, Ojeda, Messy Jessy, Lisa R) and ask them “do I look like that?” Perception is reality people!

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