I published this on my Facebook page last year right after I returned from my 7-day cruise… incidentally my first cruise ever! The BBE and I are talking about doing a vacation together (a big deal, right??) and I was reminded of this… and take it to heart, people! Every word is the truth.
TEN THINGS I LEARNED ON MY OASIS OF THE SEAS CRUISE LAST YEAR
- The elderly crowd LOVES to cruise. And judge people while cruising.
- If you eat two, even THREE square meals a day, you are in fact UNDEREATING. Report to the buffet on deck 15 immediately.
- People will CUT YOU if you happen to stand between them and the buffet.
- Pissing off your housekeeper will ensure you get no more towel animals for the rest of the cruise. Even if you don’t know what you did to piss off said housekeeper.
- Security will track your movements around the ship if you drunkenly fall off the carousel and return straight to the bar. BELIEVE THIS. Big Brother is everywhere, so it’s safer to stay seated at the bar and drink all day than it is to venture out in search of entertainment after drinking 6 grateful dead long islands. BELIEVE THIS.
- The bartenders will provide you with ice, not only for your cocktail but also for your busted ankle after you fall off the carousel. They will not cut you off, only laugh as they bring you more drinks.
- Late night is the only time to head to the hut tub, which also ensures that no one will be around when you bust your butt on the slippery pool deck.
- You do not have to have a driver’s license to drive a golf cart in Mexico. You also don’t need a map apparently.
- That’s not water coming out of the faucet in the bathroom, that’s hand sanitizer. Why? People suck and do not wash their hands! Especially the bathrooms closet to the casino. Hence one of the reasons you must use the hand-sanitizer provided everywhere.
- Falling out of a hammock face first DOES hurt just as much as belly-flopping into a pool.
I had a blast! Can’t wait to do it again!!! 🙂