- Does anyone else become immediately suspicious whenever companies announce they are changing something to make it better? For example, when McDonald’s announced they were going to start using white meat in their chicken McNuggets. I was thinking – WHAT HAVEYOU BEEN USING UP UNTIL NOW?!? Ew.
- Pictures on Facebook that make me want to drive, from my state to yours, just to slap you yell “why?!” and drive home? duck-faces, and “Selfies”. Especially multiple selfies of you in the car wearing sunglasses, doing a duckface. Why?!? Why?
- Another slappable offense a la facebook: excessive pictures of your food. I could not give a flying fart in space about all the “yummy” things you are preparing for yourself. IF I DON’T GET TO EAT IT, I DON’T CARE. Delete.
- When you ask someone’s opinion, and they say, “do you really want to know?” Yes I want to know, why would I ask? Do you really want to be a jerk, and you’re just prepping me for your surly response? Probably. Everyone’s got their priorities.
- Does anyone else get annoyed when they’re stuck behind a driver doing BELOW the speed limit? And when you finally pass them, you rubberneck as you’re trying to get a good look at the fool driver whose lack of skill and urgency is ruining it for everyone behind them?
- New trick I learned about a month ago: best way to “mainline” an Crystal Light energy mix is to toss it back like it was pixie sticks. Learned this one on accident. I was wriggling like a 6-month old puppy for the next 3 hours.
- It never fails – every time I “let one go” in my office at work, someone walks in like 2 seconds later. I’ve taken to holding them all in, so I don’t poot-bomb someone! Now by the end of the day I’m like a ticking time bomb waiting until I get to the parking lot. Then… “POOF!!!!” Gotta let it out!
Please take all of this with a gain of salt. Sometimes – you just gotta let it out!