Category Archives: Family

My Monday Morning.

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My morning:

4:15 am – Bean spontaneously bursts into tears for the 2nd time of the night (presumably because he didn’t like either of the three pacifiers that were in his crib and within arm’s reach, or because his blankets are too warm, or because he’s lonely and begins a meltdown of epic proportions that only 3 teething tablets, a bottle and copious rocking can fix. I finally rock him to sleep, pop the pacifier in his mouth like a stopper and crawl back into bed at 4:56 am.

5:30 am – Alarm goes off, hubs tries to wake me up. I tell him to shove it where the sun doesn’t shine, and snooze the alarm until 5:45. He wakes me at 5:45, and I lay there, pondering if calling in for the day to both work and parenthood is an option.

5:50 am – I get Bean out of his crib, and bring him back to our bedroom. Normally this would be enough to wake him, but he sleeps like the dead this morning (overnight meltdowns can wear you out, after all) and is essentially a rag doll as I undress him and get him ready for his bath. I take off his diaper. Still no response. I stand him up for a second. He wakes up, looks at me, smiles… and pees all over the front of my nightgown, soaking the front straight through to my underwear. I scream, cup his junk to catch the pee and run straight into the bathroom and shove him into the shower at my husband. Then I pull off my nightgown and underwear, shaking my head – now we are both awake!!

6:15 am – Bean is bathed, lotioned and diapered without incident. I attempt to put on Bean’s shoes. It’s like stuffing marshmallows into a box. I finally get them on, and he kicks them off.

6:20 am – I finish dressing Bean in his super cute outfit for picture day at school. I put his jaunty and well-coordinated bandana bib around his neck. He smiles up at me, turns his head and vomits down the sleeve of his ensemble.

6:25 am – I hand Bean over to hubs to clean him up and put his shoes back on. Hubs crows at me about how HE was able to put Bean’s shoes on… and I watch as Bean kicks them back off, one by one. 🙂 *small win but I’ll take it*

6:35 am – I finally get out of the shower and begin to get dressed for work. We leave the house 15 minutes later.

Happy Monday Folks!!

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The Peach-Bean Strategem

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I know, I know. It’s been like 80 years. My bad yall.

 

In my defense, I’ve spent the last year in a whirlwind: engagement, wedding, now we are expecting!! Holy smokes right?

 

The Bean (yes, we call our son-to-be The Bean) is due in about 3 weeks, and I am so ready. As excited as we are about having our Bean here with us, this has been one long, long long pregnancy. I’ve gone through night sweats, day sweats, crazy dreams, swollen ankles, gigantic growing boobs, a waistline that refuses to give up the ghost resulting in a “B” belly silhouette that just makes me look fatter, broken underwire (while I was wearing it), waistbands of underwear just popping at work, swollen fingers that can’t wear my wedding rings, senseless crying, and many other ailments. I can no longer feel the urge to pee (thanks to my shifted bladder), so I just wear panty liners and do a lot of precautionary bathroom visits. I toddle about like a penguin from place to place bringing humor to whoever sees me, and get stuck in chairs in an endearing habit that the hubs calls “turtling”. My boss and GM have offered to buy Segway for me to get around the hotel. I’ve considered taking them up on it.

 

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What you can’t see here is that the elastic in my underwear’s waistband is busted, as is myunderwire… and my dignity.

 

All of this will be worth it once The Bean is here! Right?!?

 

So… anyway… that’s my excuse for being such a horrible slacker on my blog. I have missed this. So many stories and hot messes that I haven’t shared, hilarities that I didn’t document in their full glory. I hope I can make up for that.

 

For example, I’ve had one client recently tell me that she didn’t realize that I was pregnant, but just thought I was getting fatter (!) while another was trying to add up on her fingers the months between my wedding and due date to make sure “it added up right”. I swear on my life this stuff is really true. And I missed blogging about it.

 

Then there’s the creepy lady in the Honeybaked Hams that as snifing me and talking about how we have the same credit cards in a nutty, “Single White/ Black Female” kinda scenario… and the lady in the Asian restaurant we go to that gave the Hubs a high-five for… and I swear on y life this happened… for KNOCKING ME UP! Yes. YES. Her words, not mine. Hubs was grinning from ear to ear. I turned red, a pretty amazing feat for a brown girl.

 

So much I’ve missed in my blogging hiatus.

 

Right now I’m just focused on one goal: Evicting the Bean. I love him so, but that will not stop me from serving him with a notice to vacate. The doctor keeps saying “big people have big babies” and seems to be on this mission to convince me that my baby will be born as the Son of Hulk, but so far nothing. The back and forth game of will he/ won’t he is pushing me to the edge, and I’m ready to take this into my own hands.

 

I call it the Peach-Bean Strategem, after one of my favorite episodes of Doctor Who, the Sontaran Strategem.

There are several steps to this process, and we will carefully follow each one to ensure a swift victory:

  1. Start eating spicy food more often.
  2. Enjoy more bouncy time on my yoga ball.
  3. Um… physical congress (yall get my drift)
  4. More walks (or penguin toddles) around the lake by our house.
  5. The tried and true method: the Eggplant Parmesan from Scalini’s.

 

# 5 is really the piece de resistance… the no-holds barred, guaranteed final step in the Bean Eviction Notice… women in Atlanta have been standing by this recipe for years. Messy Jessy the BFF added this one to my Strategem. As a Peach myself I feel I stand a good chance of this working for me too.

 

Bee (yall know him as the BBE, BFE, now the BHE   – Best Husband Ever) seems willing to go along with the plan. I can’t tell if he’s truly on board, or just afraid of his pregnant wife who seems to be endowed with superhuman strength, yet still seems to todle like a penguin, and get stuck in chairs like an upside down turtle.

 

Granted, the Peach-Bean Strategem may be as doomed as the Sontaran Strategem ( read the synopsis of the episode), but I’m sure it will make for some good stories. In the interim I plan to spend some quality time with the Bee, go do adult stuff that I probably won’t be able to d much of for a few years(any suggestions welcome), and take lots of naps in between my plotting, spicy food and yoga ball humping.

Yall pray for us…

 

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Messy Jessy is here!

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Trying to not pee in my pants from excitement!I’ve been waiting for this weekend for like, 2 months.

 

It’s like Christmas! Only the presents are people (and krispy kreme donuts)!

 

Messy Jessy is here!!!

 

 

 

Mess, along with my mom and my sisters are spending the weekend with me so that we can go wedding dress shopping and also scope out  bridesmaid dresses! I am so excited! It feels like I’m truly beginning to get wedding planning underway.

 

My fam is on their way and should be tonight. Fortunately Mess came down a little early, so we have an afternoon of just BFF time. We’ve started the weekend with a carb fest – lunch at Zaxby’s and a Krispy Kreme drive -through run. After that, a stop at Publix for food to feed the troops and BOOZE! Booze is always the cornerstone of any great girls’ weekend.

 

Right now we’re drinking “adult capri suns”. i.e. these Seagrams Escapes – Frozen Sangrias and Daquiris, while watching Say Yes to the Dress!! I said the immortal words that everyone says as they start to get old: “I just can’t drink like I used to”. Such a sad thing to say. Fortunately, Messy J is right there with me and we slowly booze our way through the afternoon, while waiting for BFE to get off work and chauffeur us to Food Truck Friday.

 

I am feeling pretty mellow and happy right now, like my world is spinning just the way it should… I’m getting married to the love of my life, my best friend and mom and sisters are coming to visit, and my house is stocked with frozen sangrias, champagne and krispy kremes.

 

My cup of joy is overflowing 🙂

 

Happy Weekend!!

 

oh! and follow me on Twitter – @sunburntpeach 🙂

Introducing Our New Team Mascot, The Florida Fighting Conch!

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My muscle man. 🙂

 

My fiance, the BFE is truly the best. He cooks, he LOVES vacuuming, he doesn’t mind cuddling, he kills spiders when I find them scary, and he even cuts his parents’ grass for them. He really is a good guy.

 

 

He also makes high-pitched screams like an emotionally hysterical woman when faced with a simple ocean mollusk in his hand.

 

This past Mother’s Day weekend we headed down to SoFla (that’s South Florida for you non-Floridians) to visit his parents, soak up some beach time and generally enjoy a mini-break away. The morning of our first full day, BFE and I headed to the beach as soon as we could wipe the sleep and crust out of our eyes and whip on our bathing suits.

 

It was a beautiful day at the beach. A light breeze, the soft lapping of the waves, crystal clear water , only a few geriatric snowbirds walking the sand for shells, and powder white sand. It was great.

 

We waded out into the ocean, using our water proof camera to take pictures under the water and explore. Things were fine until I mentioned that my foot scraped over a weird shell. Moments later, BFE ran over it too, and dove down to investigate. It was this beautiful shell! So pretty and intricate. BFE turned it over in his hand, and we realized that the shell was home to …a CREATURE!

The pictures we took are REALLY bad, so I found this on the ‘net. See the eyes? They bore into your brain and steal your soul.

 

It stuck its little eye stalks out and peered up at us, while we huddled together, peering back. BFE insisted that it was a hermit crab that was missing a leg, but before I could decide, the shell disappeared from BFE’S hand!

 

The creature had reached out of the shell with its “toe” and tried to touch him! In sheer blind panic, he threw his head back and SCREAMED “waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!” while flapping and tossing his hands about in the air with complete abandon of composure and tossed the shell further out into the water. It was a high-pitched womanly scream reserved for Hitchcock horror films. The whole episode happened in seconds and the shell was gone.

 

I couldn’t believe it! It was the coolest thing we’d ever found at the beach and it was just… gone. I railed at him, calling him a “woman” for screaming like that. In the meantime, he utterly ignored me and had already booked it halfway back to shore, telling me that if I wanted to see it again, I needed to find it myself.

 

I did find another one fairly quickly, and was examining it while calling for the BFE to grab the camera when it TOUCHED me with its “toe”.

 

The TOE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! It’s coming for you BFE!!! Eeeeee!

 

 

In a repeat performance of BFE’s epic meltdown, I screamed “yahhhhhhhhhhhh!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!” and tossed it up in the air, which the shell landing back in the water with a big plop. I flew over to BFE, yelling “Omigod omigod omigod it TOUCHED me! It touched my hand!” While hopping up and down in the water waving my affected hand around like an idiot. I made a huge scene, but I did not care. The creature TOUCHED me with its TOE.

 

In the meanwhile, BFE just stood there, shaking his head and, in a move that was clearly borrowing some of my sass, said “mmhmm… who’s the WOMAN now?”

 

We found a third shell and this time I tried to buck up and hang on to it while he ran to our umbrella area on the sand to grab our camera. When it wriggled in my hand, I dropped it AGAIN. As I’m digging in the sand and water to find it again, I use our sand pail and shovel (yes, I brought a sand pail to the beach. I’m five) to pick it up and walk to the shore. The whole time I was making my way to shore I hopped to and fro while yelling omigodomigodomigodhurryupbeforeittouchesmeagain.

 

Keep in mind that until then, we were on what was probably the quietest part of the beach.

 

My antics caught the attention of an older woman and her husband, who had a blanket near ours. She came over and explained that what we’d found was a Florida Fighting Conch, and the “toe” that touched me was what it used to pull itself across the sand on the ocean floor. She said that putting it on the sand would kill it and we really shouldn’t attempt to take it home. Home?!?! Like we’d found a new pet or mascot and wanted to keep it?!?! Puh-lease. We took pictures and released the conch back into the wild.

 

Seriously, though. Doesn’t “Florida Fighting Conch” sound kinda like a slightly lame college mascot?

 

 

For the rest of the weekend, I couldn’t look at the BFE without thinking of him screaming like a little girl and tossing this tiny little three-inch shelled creature away from him because it “looked” at him and tried to touch him.

 

When we got home, I told his parents, and it became the running joke for the rest of the night. The next day I called my mom while she and my dad were driving back to Georgia from a family visit in Illinois, and she laughed so hard and so long that she woke my dad and eventually had to pull over to the side of the road so she could recover her composure.

 

The BFE is still the best, he just lost a few man points, although he did gain points for humor and scream creativity. I know I shouldn’t have laughed so much, and I probably shouldn’t have told both sets of parents and written a blog about it, but honestly, what would you have done???

 

Go TEAM FIGHTING CONCHS!!!!!

The Sunburnt Peach Gets Engaged

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We are doing it! We’re engaged! Wedding boards on pinterest and baby fever vocalizations be damned! He’s accepted my crazy and we are taking the plunge and this is awesome!!!

 

Wow. That’s a lot of verbal diarrhea right there. But I think it’s affective at getting the points across.

 

So the BBE proposed about 3 weeks ago, and we’re both just as delighted as can be. 🙂 Naturally one of the first things we do after telling our parents and immediate family was to post it on Facebook (ok this is naturally one of the first things I did, not him). Just to prove how much Facebook itself stalks its members within minutes my ads on the side had changed:

 

 

Seriously?? I mean, come on FB. That’s not even subtle anymore.

And speaking of seriously, we really are seriously happy and excited. It’s crazy: sometimes while we’re laughing or talking or watching TV we’ll both just stop and stare at each other, and my heart just melts. I’ve never felt so happy or so blessed. I found the person I want to spend the rest of my life with. How lucky am I???? I just hope we don’t make anyone puke when they come in contact with, as Messy Jessy puts it, our “love bubble”.

 

Speaking of Messy Jessy, I’ve already asked her to be my maid of honor!! I’m pretty sure she’s going to rock at this – if it’s even possible, she’s more excited than I am about our wedding! She and my two sisters will stand up with me in a small wedding on an island in the Bahamas. Since she and my two sisters are both skinny bitches, I’ve placed them all on 4,000 calorie a day diets, which they are to follow up until our wedding day in September 2013. Sure, they’ll probably have heart problems, shortness of breath and need to have  their blood pressure taken at the end of the aisle, but at least that ensures I’ll be the cutest, SKINNIEST girl up there!!! Actually Messy has already punched a hole right through that plan, so I’m going with plan B: actually losing weight myself instead of force-feeding my skinnier bridesmaids.

Yes, pinterest boards are being updated daily as we find new ideas that flesh out how we want our wedding experience to happen: http://pinterest.com/reneemynette/. Yeah, at least now I can pin to my 3 wedding boards without him rolling his eyes… much. 🙂

Oh, and by the way… I’m sure my future blogs will have random wedding tidbits but you can get the full scoop on  our wedding and engagement escapades on http://ourbigfatcruiselinewedding.wordpress.com!

Anyhoo… here’s our engagement story, from my POV and the BBE’s. 🙂 That’s right, the BBE gets a guest spot on my blog this week 🙂 Now that we’re engaged, does his name change to Best Fiance Ever? BFE??

 

Ok, now for my Side of the Engagement Story:

“I just remember getting a random text one Saturday afternoon, asking if I wanted to go to watch fireworks the following night. Fireworks being one of my favorite things to do, I naturally said yes! He asked which location was my favorite and insisted on us going there.

So on a balmy Sunday evening, we headed over to EPCOT to watch fireworks, share a funny cake and cuddle. It was shaping up to be a great night. As the fireworks burst overhead, he leaned in… and said…

“You drive me crazy, you know that?”

WHO SAYS THAT??! LOL

Being the polite well-behaved young woman I am, I smiled nicely and said, “thank you” and continued to watch the fireworks from our bench.

He leans in again, and I’m thinking “ok, what doozie is he going to come up with now?” and He says…

“But I love you… very much”

I smiled and started to say I love you! and watched in surprise as he slid down off the bench and onto one knee and popped a ring box out of his pocket. Right there, in the middle of the park, in one of my most favorite places in the world, this man I loved more than anything was asking me the BIG QUESTION. Being the polite well-behaved woman that I am, I shrieked “What are you doing! What are you doing?!?” over and over. I couldn’t even hear his next words.

His eyes just beamed at me, and there was nothing to say but yes. I hugged him tight so that he wouldn’t see my tears – tears of joy.

The only thing I remember thinking next was “dang, if I’d known I was getting a proposal I probably would have worn a cuter dress and washed my hair”. Typical. Just goes to show that sometimes it doesn’t matter.”

🙂

 

And a word from the BFE:

I can’t remember when exactly I decided to propose to her, but I know I’d been thinking of it for a while. My biggest hang-up was not having a ring. Of course I wanted to do it right and have a nice shiny ring to give her, but those things are pricey! Finally I’d saved up enough and decided that the moment had arrived. But first I had to decide which shiny pretty thing to get her. That’s where a couple of her friends come in. I enlisted them as my secret agents to help me pick out her newest piece of jewelry. After a few dozen emails back and forth the decision was made!

Many months ago I somehow managed to get her talking about her ideal wedding proposal. Don’t ask me how, but somehow I did. Turns out she’s got a sweet spot for fireworks. So I decided that I’d give it a go and asked her if she wanted to go see some fireworks at Disney the next night. I wanted to make sure I got the right fireworks so I asked her what her favorite was. Of course it was Epcot, so away we went!

We got ourselves some funnel cake and sat down to enjoy the show. A few minutes in I lean over and tell her “You know, you drive me crazy”. She laughs a little and goes back to the show. I lean over again and say “But I still love you”. At that point I slip off the bench, land on one knee and pull out the little ring box.

The rest is, as they say, history.

 

Why’s it so HOT?!

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For some reason this morning I relayed the following ENTIRELY TRUE story to the BBE. He cried laughing.

Littlest Sis and I are about 6 years apart, so when I was in college, she was just starting high school. While in school, she developed her talents in competitive swimming – a sport that won her a full ride at Howard University later.

Anyhoo, in the summer, her coach had them up at 5 am every morning to swim. 5 am. 5-fricking-am. In the morning. Sometimes she’d get up, swim in the morning and be back home before I was even up to go to work. Since she was also in the marching band she sometimes had band practice over the summer too, and would have to go back for 4 hours practices in the afternoons. Compared to her,  I felt like my 12-hour, 6-day work week at my summer theme park job was like vacationing in the Keys. It was nuts.

Her room was across the hall from mine, and I walked out in to the hall one summer morning and saw Little Sis, passed out on the floor, halfway in the hall, halfway in her room. She was half-dressed, as if she’d fallen asleep while putting her pants on. Naturally, it tugged at my heartstrings and I had to find out if she was okay.

I nudged her with my foot. “Hey, hey!” Groggily, she rolled over and spoke, without opening her eyes. “What?” “Do you realize you’re like, naked in the hallway? Why are you on the floor?”

 

Littlest Sis had apparently been getting dressed, became tired and decided to take a quick nap. On the floor halfway in the hall. With one leg in her pants. I urged her to at least nap under a blanket. With this parting advice, I left Little Sis in the hallway and went about my morning ritual.

 

30 minutes later I emerged from the bathroom, fully showered and dressed only to find Little Sis in the exact same position that I’d left her – only she’d pulled a small blanket off her bed and wrapped herself up like a fricking burrito.

 

It might be a good time not to point out that Littlest Sis was a little … klepto… but only when it came to my stuff and Middle Sis’s stuff. In this case, she’d wrapped herself in my old baby blanket that had been lovingly crocheted for me before I was even born. It was a lovely yellow and white blanket that my mother had put aside for me and I’d HOPED I’d pass on to my kids. Little Sis found the blanket one day and become unreasonably attached to it. At the age of 12. So by the time she was 16 (when this story took place) my lovely baby blanket was a sad mass of loose yellow and white yarn akin to bad scrambled eggs.

Again I nudged her with my foot. Sleepily, she awoke, cuddled snuggly in MY baby blanket. “What are you doing?!?” I asked, to which she responded by wrinkling up her face, eyes still half closed and said “why is it so HOT?!”

 

I sighed and just left her there. When I tried to remind her about it later, she swore that it never happened.

 

What the hell?!? This is my family, my rather odd, somewhat quirky yet altogether lovable family. The stories I tell about them are true and accurate. Every once in a while I share one or two with the BBE to give him an idea of what he’s getting into when he goes with me to meet them in two weeks… that’s right! The Sunburnt Peach and the BBE are taking a road trip!

 

Stay tuned! I’m sure there will be more stories. 🙂

10 Days – 6 Places

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I am like, so behind! I should have posted this Saturday! Sorry folks… I’ll try and play catch up.

 

6 Places

 

 

6. A Bench in Edinburgh Scotland

My Edinburgh bench pic - taken before I got smashed at a Mexican restaurant at the top of the Royal Mile

In 2004 I went to the UK to visit Shann the Man, a friend of mine from Georgia who was studying abroad for a year, going to school at Northumbria University in Newcastle. Apart from being my first trip overseas, it was my first trip alone AND overseas. I had the best time, and still have lots of memories of going there. One I remember the most is a day trip we took to Edinburgh.

Edinburgh seemed like this green/gray new/old place, where people live within walking distance of so much history, where the grass is greener than I’ve ever seen but the skies are always gray. I loved the place the moment we stepped off the train. While wandering through this city that had completely captivated my heart, we took a walk in the park and came across a series of benches with plaques on them, dedicating those places to special people. One that caught my eye read “In Memory of Katherine L.W. Read, M.A., who loved this city”. That inscription just about broke my heart. I thought about the person that must have left such a deep mark that someone wrote out that dedication. So that I wouldn’t ever forget it, I took a picture which I occasionally pull out and marvel at.

 

 

5. In my car, riding down a tree-lined road, singing at the top of my lungs

Banyan tree-lined road on Little Gasparilla Island, FL

One of my favorite things to do is drive down a beautiful winding road, watching the scenery a bit and singing at the top of my lungs. It’s one of my favorite places to be is in my car. Susie Miranda.

That’s right: I named my car. I love my car. She’s been good to me, and she’s the first car I’ve purchased, on my own, without help from my parents. The best part is the cd player! I put in mixed CDs I make and toodle around town, singing my favorite songs at the top of my lungs. I have my own little karaoke session every day – in my car.

 

 

4. Cafe Intermezzo, Atlanta

This European-style cafe holds so many memories – many evenings spent with happy friends, dawdling over hot chocolate, coffee and amazing desserts (which I of course had no business eating, but how do you say no to homemade oreo cheesecake?!). They’re open until 4am every night and don’t ever rush you. We’d sit there for hours just talking about those “life or death” situations that were so important to college student… which in the end was super silly but those nights are part of the glue that held my friends together.  Every time I go home to visit I try to stop by.

 

 

3. The arms of the one I love

When I think of this place, words like “safe”, “comfort”, “happiness” come to mind. I’ve never been very demonstrative when it comes to relationships, but seeking comfort in his arms just comes naturally. It’s a place I look forward to being at the end of the day, and a wonderful place to wake up in too.

Nothing says lovin' like carving your girlfriend's pumpkin.

Feet in the sand, utterly content.

sheepish happiness... baaaaaah 🙂

 

 

2. Anywhere my friends are.

Some friends are fun people to hang around. Some friends are great lunch buddies. Other friends become a part of your family with shared memories and laughter that help form who you are.

I am lucky to have friends that are family. Wherever they are is a place I want to be. 🙂

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

1. Christmas with the folks

A place I look forward to every year, with all of our weird traditions, and booze, and laughter and arguments and silent treatments and hilarious surprises (my mom once stuck LUBE in my Christmas stocking) it’s one of the very best parts of being in my family.

I remember one year almost choking on a sip from my littlest sis’s hot apple cider because I hadn’t realized that she’d spiked it with Crown Royal… both of my sisters insist on the three of us sleeping in the same bed on Christmas Eve, and we drive each other mad by pinching each other WITH OUR TOES. Once my dad gave me a dish rack for a Christmas gift. Who wouldn’t want to go home to that?!?

 

 

As I was working on this list I thought at first I’d think about places I want to go, trips I want to take. Instead, I ended up focusing on places I’ve been and the people that make them special. What’s more important, thinking about the want-tos or the already-haves 🙂