Tag Archives: cookies

poke, Poke, POKE!

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Anyone ever get “poked” on Facebook?

 

 And no, this isn’t the beginning of a dirty joke.

 

I’ve had several people ask me what it means to “poke” someone on FB, and I just kinda make stuff up. I have no idea if what I’m telling people is right. All I know is what poking means to me.

 

 These days if someone says something about poking or getting poked you automatically think social media! I got poked today… LITERALLY.

 

Some sick, deeply disturbed and sadistic vendor brought Ghirardelli cookies to our office this afternoon – big yummy soft ones. I mean, cookies thicker than your hand and bigger than a small pancake. There were macadamia nut, chocolate chip and turtle!

 

Then just to add fire to gasoline, one of my coworkers placed her recently purchased girl scout cookies out for everyone to enjoy.

 

We all swarmed around the cookies like vultures on roadkill. Just as I was reaching my chubby paw to break off a small piece of the macadamia nut cookie, I felt a sharp poke! right in my backfat, on the righthand said of my back, in the bra fat area… you know… the worst back fat area to be poked in?

 

One of my coworkers – who has been a huge supporter of my quest to lose weight – was poking me! I know she didn’t do it to be rude, but just to remind me of my priorities. Still… oh, the shame!

 

That poke snapped my fat ass back to reality. I had NO business whatsoever pigging out over cookies!! I need to stay focused on my goal… to lose weight and be able to wear gym shorts in public. That poke was more than a poke. It was a lifeline dragging me back onto the bandwagon.

 

I sighed and withdrew my cookie bid.

 

Then I sighed again… SMILED… and grabbed that little quarter of a cookie and ATE IT. It tasted so good!!!! Poking be damned!

 

Moral of the story? I can still be on the bandwagon and be working towards my goals without making myself miserable. I’m betting that quarter of a cookie stopped me from going goatshit postal and eating every girl scout and ghirardelli cookie within a ten-mile radius.

 

 So …thanks for the poke! 🙂

 

Why Do I Always Get the Burnt Cookie??

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Do you find yourself frequently asking the question “Why does this always happen to me?”

I do. Daily.

Some people are just “lucky” enough to be a walking example of Murphy’s Law… if there’s a 1 square-inch puddle of water on the floor, I’ll slip in it.

If there’s one gimpy buggy at the Target, I always get it.

If there’s one rude librarian in the ENTIRE WORLD he will be the one working at my local library.

If there’s any possible way to trip and fall while getting off a carousel horse I will figure it out.

The day I got to the beach is when it’ll rain.

My Blackberry is always the one with schizophrenic tendencies, no matter how new it is.

My cat was the one that liked to chew on hair… especially mine

How many people do you know that have dogs allergic to GRASS?

Who else goes to the DMV to get a new driver’s license picture taken and is forced to retake the ENTIRE TEST… at the age of 24?

If someone brings in home-baked cookies to work, I’ll be the one that gets the burnt one.

WHY DO I ALWAYS GET THE BURNT COOKIE?