Tag Archives: exercise

Paranoia

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I believe that the honeybuns in the office vending machine are out to get me.

 

 Have you ever noticed that about 2 hours after eating a Lean Cuisine meal you’re even hungrier than you were before having it?

There I am, standing in the lunchroom, dutifully heating up my 320 calorie Lean Cuisine lunch, and my eyes stray to the vending machine. I try to be sly, just glazing over ALL the selections, but I know where my heart is… inside the sugary center of the honeybun on the bottom row.

As I stand there, I SWEAR that I can hear it calling me, tauntingly, begging me to take it back to my desk, asking me to claim it as my own. With herculean effort I beak my gaze and head back to the microwave, where my lunch is finally done heating up (BTW, my little frozen veggie egg roll and rice took EIGHT MINUTES to cook!).

I stir my rice and prepare my meal, and try to think of all the reasons why I shouldn’t abandon my lunch in favor of a honeybun:

  1. It’s 700 calories.
  2. It’s in a vending machine. Who knows how long it’s been sitting there?
  3. It’s 700 calories.
  4. It’s full of useless sugar that I do not need unless I’m trying to become a diabetic.
  5. It’s 700 calories.
  6. It’s full of weird preservatives (I know, I’m eating a frozen lean cuisine, so what’s the difference? Which leads me to point # 7:
  7. It’s 700 calories.

Shying past the vending machine to ease out the door, I cast one final look at the 700-calorie honeybun, knowing that we’re not meant to be. I head back to my desk to scarf down my sad little lunch before my next meeting.

Just so you know, my eggroll was not as beautifully crispy as it appeared on the box. I’ve had the Lean Cuisine pot stickers and rice before, and LOVED it, so thought I’d venture further and try the eggroll. Per the instructions, I slit the plastic covering the dish to help steam the rice and eggroll. The sauce from the rice made the already oversteamed eggroll super soggy (WHO STEAMS AN EGGROLL?!? Oh, lean cuisine does LOL) and what had looked like a delectable lunchtime treat on the box was now a sad,  bland, soggy reality at my desk. With 35 minutes left before my meeting and a tight budget, I had no choice but to choke down the sad, sad little eggroll.

As I whimper quietly over my little dish of food, I thought longingly of my super sticky sweet partner in crime, encased in cellophane and a vending machine. If only we could be together! Alas, it was not meant to be :/

Now how many people do you know daydream about honeybuns?? I either need a vacation or a sugar fix. Stat!

Private Space

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Interesting. I’d like to hear your thoughts on this. Do yall think I went too far?

 

I got a LOT of flack for the post I created last night… so much so, that it’s now password protected.

 

I’ve heard everything from “why say such mean things about people to make yourself feel better” and “why use such vulgar language” to “what if that post re-surfaces and bites you in the butt later when you’re looking for another job, etc”.

 

The last concern was what finally made me decide to password-protect the post. If you want to read it again, just ask me.

 

What I’m struggling with is the guilt that I now feel for expressing myself in my personal space. I see Sunburnt Peach as my place to vent, share thoughts and share stories both hilarious and strange. I don’t like the idea of being constricted by people’s expectations or disappointments in my behavior, and I’m ashamed to say that I fall victim to it all too often.

 

My original intention when creating this blog site in April of last year was to have  a place where I captured all of my “stuff”: the good, bad and ridiculous. It’s been suggested that I could lose friends over what I wrote… I counter that with “if I lose you as a friend over one post, I have to question the friendship.” If you’re my friend, I will do anything I can for you – before you even ask. We would never get to the point of the situations I listed in my blog, because there’s open communication between friends, even ones that don’t talk every day. Furthermore, FRIENDS don’t do use other friends. 

 

I still think it is wrong for people to take advantage of others in thoughtless, self-serving ways. I still plan to say “NO” a lot more often (which will be easier now that I no longer have perks to give out to people). I’m still sick of being nice while people walk all over me because I’m too much of a pansy to stand up for myself. I can be a pushy jerk sometimes, but when my back’s to the wall I will cave. I know other people who do this as well, and I’m sick of watching it happen to them too. It’s unfair that nice people lose so often, because of the crappy people who ruin it for everyone.

 

…and posting what I wrote yesterday doesn’t mean I’m not “nice” either. No one’s perfect, and everyone gets fed up at some point. If you think less of me for what I wrote yesterday, I’m sorry. I’m sorry that I offended you, and I’m sorry that one post would make you think so less of me.

 

Not to be arrogant but I am a smart girl. I don’t think that using four-letter words denotes a lack of intellect or vocabulary. In fact, I think that four-letter words are frequently a more apt and succinct way of sharing your emotions with fewer words. Maybe it makes me vulgar… and I’m offended by being called vulgar… but I do my best to pick the time and place that I use any language. I wouldn’t use 8-syllable words around 2nd graders, and I wouldn’t say sh!t while sitting next to an elder in church. I’m not stupid, I’m not new to the world, I just need a place to write down what’s going on in my head.

 

Moving forward, I don’t think I’ll be publishing a post quite as spectacularly full of fireworkds and shock as what I posted last night. But hear this: if you continue to follow me, it’s gonna be quite a ride. I can’t promise every post will be sunshine and puppies and hugs, but they won’t be mean-ness and anger either. They will be… me. So you’ll have to take me as I am 🙂

 

Zombie Apocalypes vs. the Dentist

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I’ve never been a huge fan of Halloween. So I’m sure you can imagine my dismay when 2 zombies walked into our office recently.

It was a Halloween prank, as it turned out. Nevertheless, I was torn between my disgust for zombies and all they stand for, and my urge to whip out my smartphone and take a pic. Obviously, the smartphone won out.

Zombies have been on the brain lately (bahahaha! get it? BRAINS! brrraaaiiiinnsss!). During the Halloween season, some of my favorite channels (History Channel, Discovery Channel and the Travel Channel) feature more shows about haunted houses, the scariest places in America, and other fun stuff. Recently, History Channel did a piece on zombies, and what a zombie apocalypse would look like. It was compared to the bubonic plague. They even brought in a weapons expert to highlight the items to best use as defense against zombie attacks. Weird but interesting, right?

Ever since then, I have been asking myself: would I survive a zombie apocalypse? Would I be one of the select few that makes it to safety, or would I be live fodder for the Undead? I’d like to think I’m scrappy enough to make it through, but I’ve started thinking about things in relation to the zombie apocalypse (or ZA for short).

Take spinning class, for example. Spinning and I have a love/ hate relationship. I love how bad ass I feel afterwards, but during the class, I’m praying to the Baby Jesus, God and his angels to take me far, far away to a land of bubble baths and wine. I make deals with myself: if I can make it through the first 30 minutes, then I can get off the bike (it’s just reverse psychology, since I stay the whole class, but it works). Today’s spinning class took on a new edge when I started thinking about it in terms of ZA… what makes spinning so important?

  1. Losing weight means I’m less meaty and therefore less of a target
  2. Spinning makes me more competent in a bicycle, so that should I have to use a bike for a speedy getaway, I’m a swiftly moving, less meaty target.

Another example is weight loss. How does weight loss relate to the Zombie Apocalypse? Simple.

  1. Less me (like less weight) allows me to move faster away from zombies.
  2. Getting used to eating less means that my stockpile of Zombie Apocalypse hideout food will last longer.
  3. Losing weight means I’m less meaty and therefore less of a target.
  4. Gaining muscle mass helps me to better wield my zombie-fighting weapons.
  5. Better healthy will allow my body to fend off the prions the spark the zombie apocalypse.

Seriously! Looking at your regular challenges and obstacles from the perspective of a zombie apocalypse really helps re-focus your energy. I can remind myself constantly of why weight loss is important is I want to have kids, live a healthy life, travel, etc. but NOTHING motivates you like outrunning a hungry raving zombie.

Preparing for the zombie apocalypse even got me through my dental appointment last week.

I hadn’t been to the dentist since I was like… 8? So you can imagine how stressed out I was.  I have a cracked tooth, plus wisdom teeth that had never come out. I knew there would be lots of things the dentist would have to do, and I was super nervous that it would be painful and traumatizing. At the end of the day, though, it wasn’t really bad. I have a few things scheduled for future visits, but my visit only ended with a “debridement” which I guess is a more rigorous type of routine cleaning. Deep cleaning is typical for people that haven’t been to the dentist in a while, so it wasn’t out of the ordinary.

Cleaning sounds normal, right? I thought I’d be fine, I really did. But that was before the debridement actually began. It hurt. Not a lot but enough. And the scraping was uncomfortable. Did I mention that weird water pick thing? Outside of wheedling my way into BBE’s good graces, I hadn’t whimpered aloud in front of another human being in YEARS, yet I whimpered more than once just to let Janet the Dental Hygienist of Horror know that she was causing me pain.

Ah, Janet. The Dentist Hygienist of Horror. SHE is definitely one that will survive the impending apocalypse. She’ll kill them will her torturous drill of death! As I lay back int he chair, trying to suss my whimpering and take my cleaning like a big girl, I began to think “you know what would be worse? the Zombie Apocalypse.” From there I began to recount reasons why having healthy teeth and gums would be ideal:

  1. If I have healthy teeth I won’t be screwed like Tom Hanks was in Castaway when he had to yank out his own abscess tooth.
  2. Strong teeth will be needed to chew through the rougher foods that we will subsist on after the breakdown of first world civilization.
  3. Teeth can be used as weapons… although I don’t want to get close enough to a zombie to test that theory.

After I was done, Janet, the Wonderful and Awesome Harbinger of Dental Hygiene talked to me about the good state of my teeth and habits. Smiling, I left her office, and headed out into my zombie free world.

Finish Line

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I just sent this out to my family and friends…

Hi everyone,

The final video is up! Here’s the link: http://www.nba.com/magic/getfit_part8_100511.html

Before you watch this, I want to say something.

 

I did not win the competition.

(gasp! *SPOILER ALERT*)

Lol.

 

…and that’s ok! I am extremely proud that I put myself out there and did this, and saw it through to the end of the competition. Do I think it would have been a super long shot for a woman to lose more weight than 2 guys? Yes. Am I mad/bitter/upset about it? NO. Is this the end of my working to get fit? ABSOLUTELY NOT.

 

I would NEVER have stuck through this crazy thing without the support of each and every one of you… and every person that you forwarded this to that I don’t even know who voted for me or was inspired by me, or cared enough to watch the videos and share my journey. I can’t thank you enough for giving me a few minutes of your time each week to watch the videos, to vote, read my blog, to stop me in the halls at work or ask me on Facebook or by email or whatever about how the competition was going and to share your words of encouragement.

 

I think it’s amazing that people kept saying they were inspired by me – I feel like it was the other way around!! At the very beginning there were a few times I felt like giving up, but I couldn’t do it – I would have disappointed not only myself, but everyone that was cheering for me. I’m so glad I didn’t quit!!! I gained so much from this competition – some muscle mass, a wonderful experience, training, education and most importantly confidence in myself change my life.  So don’t be sad or disappointed that I didn’t win… no, that means I won’t be inviting you to my winner’s suite at an Orlando Magic game anytime soon but I might be inviting you to join me at a spinning class (my new favorite class)! It also means I’m on track to a better quality of life, and for that I can’t thank you enough.

With that said, I hope you enjoy the last video of GET FIT WITH NICK!

Hugs,

renee

****So my post doesn’t end here.

My supporters have been just so amazing!

 

I wanted to post some of the kind and amazing messages people have been sending me over the last 8 weeks. This isn’t all of them, but some I wanted to share with everyone. Enjoy.

 

So proud of you!!! You totally got this. Excited to see next week J

Jennifer T

 

 

Yay! Go Renee!!! And a quote from when you first found out “Shut your face!”

Valencia S

 

 

Aw Renee, you’re so cute! Good Job!!!! You’re always a Weiner to me J

Leah W

 

 

AWESOME  Renee !!!!  I’m praying for your success!! You can do it girl !! Whooo Hooo

Sandra N

 

 

Go girl… You looked great. I know it will be hard at first but hang in there. As the weeks go by it will get easier as you get stronger.
Carolyn  M

 

 

I voted team Renee!

Danielle M

 

 

Hey Renee!! you have moved up in the ranks….so as you move up in the ranks, your weight will move down. 

 

Renee;  I have to tell you how very PROUD FRANK AND I ARE YOU!!! You are my inspiration now for losing weight and getting fit.  I gained weight while going thru the surgery process and had gotten depressed, BUT GOD SENT ME YOU AND YOUR NEW GET FIT WITH NICK, WHICH NOT ONLY HELPS YOU, BUT IT IS HELPING ME AND OTHERS!!

 

BABY CONTINUE TO WORK HARD AND KEEP THE FAITH THAT GOD HAS YOUR BACK AND WILL KEEP YOU GOING. ALSO KNOW THAT YOUR DAD AND I  LOVE YOU AND WILL CONTINUE TO PRAY FOR YOU AND ENCOURAGE TO DO YOUR BEST.  WE WILL DRIVE TO ORLANDO WHEN YOU WIN!!!!! LOVE YOU MUCH

Mom

 

 

I am so proud of you for going out for this!!  You are already a winner, so please, please remember that — the first and most important step is getting started, and you already did that!!!!   I have to say, watching Nick Anderson isn’t such a bad thing also!!  Hee hee  J

Courtenay N

 

 

You look great on the video! Stay FOCUSED! I BELIEVE IN YOU!!

Just Smile….. J

Dinelle H

 

 

No, you have such a great on screen presence no matter how you feel you look – you shine J

Michelle M

 

 

You know I am here to support you! Go Butter, go! Wait don’t think about butter.

Elanah S

 

 

I just voted – you can do this Renee!  I am so proud of you.  Keep it up girl.

Dorothy K

 

 

Hey Renee, I’m proud to see that you hung in there with the Spin/Group Ride class.  Those classes are no joke and when I started, I could not keep up.  Now, a year later, it is one of my favorite classes and has contributed to my success with weight loss.  I’ll do Spin/Ride 2x a week (plan to go tonight). 

I hope you have continued success!  Keep me posted.

Dawn W

 

 

Keep it up!!  It’s not easy, but the end result should be the goal.  Trust me everything you work hard it, you will see results, but you don’t gain anything in life without working hard for it.  That is everything, we get rewarded at work for our hard work, and that is not easy, the same with relationships.  And this is just one of those things, that in order to see results, you must work hard at it each day and never give up hope…..hope is everything!!!  So keep it up….you have already seen the results.  And the most important thing is your health without it you can’t do anything.

If you need anything else from me, feel free to let me know.  I’m all about getting fit and feeling good about how you feel and look.  But remember you are beautiful no matter what….and from what I can see you are an awesome young lady!!

Maria M

 

 

Looking Good Young Lady and Pushing through the Pain.  My continued prayers for your strength throughout this process.  Let’s get HEALTHY!  I’m with you 100%.  Love you.

Vanessa S

 

 

First of all, why did the Olive Garden commercial with the never ending pasta bowl and breadsticks come up before my video about getting fit with Nick???  J 

 

 

More importantly, you are doing awesome!  I can see that your body is changing, so even if you feel like the scale isn’t moving as quickly you would have hoped, rest assured that there is definitely a difference and you’re looking great!  I voted for you!  Go Team Renee!

Jessica G

 

 

As long as you know how hard you are working and you feel good the rest doesn’t matter. Just keep doing what you are doing and it will take time but will be worth it in the long run and it will get easier as you continue.

Diana D

 

 

You are ROCKIN’ the vote!  And maybe the Kasbah (but I’m not sure what that is, so if it is something bad or wrong, you are NOT rockin’ it…unless you want to, in which case I don’t judge). 

Adrienne S

 

Hi Renee!

I have been secretly stalking your progress! (Via FB and the websiteJ)

Keep up the awesome work and I have been voting!

You’re doing an excellent job and in the end all your hard work is paying off! J

Leann S

 

 

I was just looking at that video and the very first one posted. Comparing how you look between the interview and that video I can see a really marked difference, especially in your face (not like Christian said, but more tactfully :P). So congrats, you really are doing it! 😀

Dustyn G

 

 

Hang in thereJ  You are doing well..

Leo T

 

 

Awesome!! You have inspired me to join Weight Watchers!! I tell you, I will not let my fat genes get the best of me. You are not alone, Sweetie ( no pun intended). Anyway, keep up the hard work. I cannnot figure out where I go to vote for you. Help.

Keep me posted of your journey, please.

Sheryll P

 

 

I love it!!! Keep up the good work . We love you sooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo muuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuch!

Triniece M

 

 

Haha… hang in there… bottom line is that you’ve busted your ass and it shows

Kelly B

 

 

I’m so proud of you for having the courage to enter the contest and then to impress them enough to be one of the finalists.  I don’t think I have that kind of courage.  Cudos to you!!!!!!!!

Congratulations!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! You look Fabulous!!!!!!!!!!! Do you thing.

Cassandra T

 

I Miss Fried Chicken

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So the Thursday before last was September Birthday Cake Day at work, and by the Grace of God and the Sweet Baby Jesus, I was OFF yesterday. Nothing tastes better than buttercream frosting and publix bakery birthday cake. Except, maybe fried chicken.

I miss fried chicken.

Most importantly, I miss the smell. My schoolteacher friend Kevin told me the funniest story once about one of his kindergarteners: he was working with them to teach the 5 senses, and asked each kid to think of soemthing they really like and they would talk about how they experience it with all 5 senses. One little chubby 5 year old said “I love my mama’s fried chicken!” Here’s how she used the 5 senses to describe how much she loved it:

  1. The smell of it sizzling in the pan
  2. The taste of hot chicken on her tongue
  3. The sight of it getting rolled in flour, fried and puto n her plate
  4. The touch of it’s crispy skin
  5. The sound of it frying in oil

When he told me this story, I remember laughing my ass off and thinking “what a little fatty!!!” Now I am kinda reminiscing on chicken the same way.

Don’t get me wrong. During this challenge, I have discovered a lot of foods and recipes that taste sooo good and don’t make me feel bad for even wanting them. Yet nothing replaces the deliciousness of southern fried chicken, fresh out of my dad’s or Grandma Delores’s cast iron frying pan. My nutritionist says that there’s oven-fried chicken that you can make that will give you the same enjoyment of fried chicken without all the fat or calories. I don’t believe that for a second. That’s like trying to say that turkey burgers are just as good as a hamburger, or that turkey bacon tastes as good as bacon bacon. It doesn’t – while turkey bacon is perfectly fine, to say that in any way, shape or form can it can replace the delightfully savory and salty sensation of bacon is foolish and flat out mean.

Speaking of turkey bacon, the BBE (best boyfriend ever) and I had a pretty bad-assed breakfast sandwich yesterday involving turkey bacon. I’d sworn off the stuff after eating some at my parent’s house (neither of my sisters will eat pork now – I feel sad for them missing out) and later watching “Modern Marvels” on the History Channel where they show how they make turkey products. You DON’T even want to know how they make turkey bacon or ground turkey or turkey sausage. I mean seriously, I could have gone the rest of my life without seeing that.

Getting back to the sandwich: it consisted of 2 egg whites, a slice of provolone cheese, 2 slices of turkey bacon all on a cinnamon-raisin english muffin, toasted. It was EPIC and only 288 calories, NO trans fasts, less than 700 mg of sodium and only 8 g of sugar. We were both surprised at how good it tasted all together!! No butter, no jelly, honey or anything. I would eat it again, and definitely recommend it to anyone that is trying to eat healthier, still get in a hearty breakfast and remembers the big Southern-style breakfasts that started of eggs, sausage and toast.

 

On a completely un-related note, I WILLINGLY took a spinning class on Saturday. My butt bone is still bruised from taking the class, but honestly, while you’re huffing away on that biek so many other parts of you hurt and burn that you completely forget how miserable that seat is. Thankfully the room was darkened so no one was really focusing on anyone else, and no one saw my baldly pedalling my way through my pain. I was on the second row behind this little whippet of an older man that was HARD CORE about spinning – man had the shorts, the shirt and the special spinning shoes that lots of people wear. I made it my business to try and keep up with him, but finally fell behind on the 5th track which was the mountain track. My mountain number three, my legs were just DONE. The instructor said “add another turn!” and I said “No!”. I kept pedalling though, and did what I could.

 

I have to say, the difference in how I felt this time compared to the first time I took spinning is monumental. The first time, whenever they told us to stand and pedals, my legs were shaking so badly I simply couldn’t go it. This time, I grunted and growled and tore right through it. I followed that little old man all over my imaginary Appalachian mountains, pedaling hard, taking every turn of difficulty and working my slowly shrinking butt cheeks off. I felt like a rockstar!!! As much as I don’t like spinning I will be back… the rush after completing a serious tough class like that is becoming addictive.

 

These pats few weeks have been hard – I’m not losing weight as fast as the guys, and I just feel like I’m failing at this challenge.  I’ve let their weight loss accomplishments overshadow my own, and sow doubts into my head. My trainer, my family, friends and BBE keep constantly reminding me that losing the weight in a paced, healthy way is the past way to ensure that I will keep it off. Everybody loses weight at different rates. I haven’t been lost 20 or 30 pounds; I’ve only lost 10, but I’ve gained muscle, and endurance and the ability to finish a spinning class without fear that I’d collapse into a ridiculous tragic heap. Maybe I win the competition, maybe I don’t. I do know one thing: this doesn’t stop for me once the challenge it over. I want to keep doing this. It’s always seemed like it was too hard to do. Let me tell you something: keeping up with that little spinning man was HARD, but I did it. After walking out of that spanning class, I felt I put that stuff behind me and was ready to just focus on ME and getting fit.

Getting through something that hard got me motivated to take on other things I’ve always wanted to do, but just thought were beyond my abilities – like gardening. Weeding and mulching the front yard is a chore that’s been on my “I need to do this” list for months… literally months. When my mom visited a few months back, she suggested starting out gardening slowly, with plants I can handle and care for easily. She suggested the “Knock Out Rose” a hardy little rose plant. So… feeling all bad ass after taking on spinning and getting over my mountains, I bought my first Knock Out Rose and trowel:

Who says that working out only helps you lose weight? I feel like I can take on anything!!!! I still miss fried chicken, but I’m no longer missing out on life.

 

Opening the Floodgates

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“I say your video on the Orlando Magic website!” a random lady says to me last Friday at one of our events. “I have to say, you really don’t look like you’re 300 pounds. Where do you hide it – your boobs?”

What the…????

First of all, who says that???

Second of all, I am 300 pounds NOT 500, I am mobile and energetic. I’m

not Gilbert Grape’s mom and unable to leave my home or bed and have to use a poking stick to change the tv… and just what exactly does a 300 pound woman look like? Should I look like the Stay-PuftMarshmallow Man eating everything in sight, going boom-BOOM-boom-BOOM down the street in a slow waddle looking for more?

That only happens right before my period starts.

It’s funny how people have these ideals of weight versus size… it’s even funnier that since I’ve started doing this contest I’ve basically opened the floodgates to everyone to say whatever the hell they want to me…

  • “you really don’t look as big as 300 pounds! what happened?”
  • “your boobs look smaller – you must be losing weight!”
  • “what do you eat? how often to you eat? when do you eat? where do you eat??”
  • you’re trainer’s really tiny. what’s it like to work with a trainer that small?”
  • “how much sleep do you get?”
  • “those little bitty seats in spinning class must have been tough for someone with such a… a butt”

And my personal favorite:

” do people fart in your yoga class?”

This is just the beginning of the things that people now say out loud to me. It’s kinda like if there’s a big hole in the butt of your pants and no one says anything. Once you acknowledge the hole, everyone’s like “oh good now that you are doing something about the hole in your pants that we’ve always been afraid to talk to you about, let’s talk all about it!  A lot! Along with anything else random that comes into my head!” LOL

I love the support though. It’s just sometimes a bit random and definitely funny.

The truth is, even if I don’t win this challenge, I know that I’m a badass just for taking the first dedicated step and going through this experience.

I am learning things that are going to make me healthier long into the future after this is over, and sharing this experience with my family and friends helps to keep me accountable – even if it’s also a floodgate for more crazy than usual. It’s also a floodgate for opportunity that I didn’t have before! You can’t beat that.  I’ve already started thinking about things to keep me exercising and engaged and active moving forward (it will probably NOT be spinning class! hehe).

Floodgates… and floodgates.

Suck ’em Up Panties and Masochists

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Every big girl has a pair… or in my case, two.

I am referring to the suck ’em up panties… I wear them not just because they’re a little slimming, but all to smooth out my “silhouette”… or whatever. Regardless of the case, they became an addiction for me, something that made me feel just a little bit better about myself.

I can’t remember any time in my adult life when I didn’t have a pair. I’ve worn them everywhere. My second date with Boyfriend I remember jumping ten feet everytime he touched me for fear, he’d notice the heavy duty under pinnings.

I’ve worn suck’em up panties to the gym, to work, to da club, to the buffet. I have even considered wearing them to the beach but discarded the idea for fear of waterlogged panties dragging me into the sea.

Since I started the challenge 3 weeks ago, I have worn my suck’em up panties approximately 4 times. At first because I was so sore and slow from those first gym workouts that I didn’t want an extra layer between me and getting to the bathroom. Now that my “number” is out there for the world to see, courtesy of Orlando Magic TV, I’ve realized, I have nothing to hide anymore. In some ways it’s liberating to be released from the spandex, but also scary. The pressure is on, and I am having a hard time seeing results.

I’ve spoken to Trainer from Hell (as I’ve renamed my trainer) about this, and she assures me that eventually the work will pay off. I guess I just keep waiting to wake up and be a completely different looking person, and that’s not the case. It’s still hard to accept that this is a journey, not a quick fix destination. I am literally reminding myself of this daily – it’s almost become an affirmation.

Hell Trainer is really good at reminding me of that fact, and helping me keep my morning eating habits in check. I called her a sadist last week based on my theory that trainers essentially get paid to torture people. She laughed and accepted it as a compliment. She’s clearly disturbed, but an important part of Team Sunburnt Peach that helps keep the whole campaign running.

And this IS a campaign – a campaign for a new way of living and thinking about my health. I could never do this effectively alone, I’m a desperately social creature that needs to have people around me. 🙂 It’s true – and embracing that fact has made it easier to handle the outpouring of support I’ve received, from the sincerely absurd to the hilariously overzealous. Team Sunburnt Peach helps me keep my sense of humor and is also the people to whom I’m accountable to, win or lose. Team Sunburnt Peach includes everyone reading this post.

Every campaign has it’s bumps in the road. Two weeks ago I went all out and re-vamped my eating habits, then got frustrated when things didn’t just turn around immediately. I drove myself crazy last week checking the scale constantly to see if I’d lost anything, getting excited when the scale went down and then slumping into a depression when the weight went up a pound or two, and accepting defeat when one of the other guys had lsot 10 pounds already.

This week I decided to focus on me and keep my blinders on, and my view straight ahead at my goal – to  lose the pounds. Still, they slip off every once and a while, and all I see are people succeeding faster at they’re goal, and I start to wonder, what am I doing wrong??

One of the trainers suggested that I not keep focusing on the numbers, but remember that I am doing all the right things, and the weight will come off. She said that one of the biggest ways to tell a difference is seeing it in my clothes.

Tonight while I was picking out what to wear tomorrow, I came across one of my many Closet Enemies: a pair of black pants that I’ve never been able to wear because I couldn’t zip them up. For grins and giggles I just thought I’d try them on. If anything, I thought, how far up I’m able to zip them up (or not) is a good gauge of where I’m going.

Um. how about I zipped those pants ALL THE WAY UP?? Whacka waaa?? I ZIPPED THEM UP!!!!! UP! I AM GOING TO WEAR THEM TOMORROW!

What can I say? I cried. I zipped up those pants and stood there in shock and frickin’ teared up in my closet, staring at myself in the evil enemy pants… that actually kinda made my butt look GOOD.

I am finally starting to see results! Well maybe I don’t, but my pants do. It’s a tiny step but one more pair of pants in my closet that I don’t see as an enemy.

And I wasn’t even wearing my suck’em up panties. Imagine that.