Tag Archives: pinterest

Well played, Martha Stewart, Well Played.

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PINTEREST, I’M LOOKING AT YOU!

**Shakes fist angrily at the sky.**

I am convinced that pinterest was invented by conservative men that are determined to get the liberal, bra-burning, birth control taking wild women back into the kitchen and back to making things “homemade” and thusly created a website to draw them in and incite a crafting wave that has even resulted in television shows about crafting. Why buy chicken at Boston Market when you can raise and create the entire meal by raising the chickens, growing the vegetable garden, and harvesting the tea leaves (for sweet tea of course) yourself, all in the apron you made yourself from a pattern you found on Pinterest? I believe that we’re all born with talents, and it’s ok to rely on the talents of others – say, a person that knows how to cook versus my pathetic efforts – instead of trying to excel in every “pinned” idea on fricking pinterest, as we are determined to swap recipes, share wedding ideas, and showcase our personal clothing style. There is NOTHING wrong with utilizing the Boston Market drive through to pick up dinner for you and your boo while showcasing your style in betty boop pajama pants, sequined yellow box flip flops and a beanie.

 

Yes pinterest, thanks to the “anyone can craft like this, it’s easy!!!” attitude, and the wild, waving-your-carefree-hot-glue-gun-in-the-air website of yours I just dropped $62 at Michael’s tonight.

 

At the cash register I hung my head in shame, and texted the BFE as I walked out the door.

Me to the BFE: “Don’t me mad”

My next test to the BFE: “I just left Michael’s about $62 poorer.”

I got no return text, this warranted a phone call that was basically heavy breathing and one long sigh.

I sighed too.  A $62, pinterest-induced sigh.

 

I also blame Martha Stewart for part of this. Her corporate plot to corner the women’s market in adorable, crafting supplies and organizational tools while charging exorbitant prices is working, and I’m ashamed to admit I have fallen prey to her ploys. It pisses me off that Stewart knows ever shade of blue or blush that I would peronally enjoy, and uses this information to her advantage, forcing me to hand over my Disney Debit Visa (ha!) time and time again at my local Staples. Seriously, she’s making a killing off of the Pinterest crowd.

 

Which brings us back… and PINTEREST I’M STILL LOOKING AT YOU!

First, let’s talk about how you sucked me into your ways by making all of the crafts seem easy and fun. I started looking at ideas in August for holiday stuff, thinking, “ooh, this looks easy!” “oh, I can do that!” “Man, doing that myself is gonna save me soooo much moneeeyyyyy…” Huh.

 

One key thing that most pinterest crafts need: a hot glue gun. Another thing they all need: fricking patience. I did not have either of these things as I ambled into the Michael’s, starry-eyed and excited to produce handmade ornaments for B and I’s first Christmas in our own place.

 

 

Craft #1: Cute, painted glass ornaments

All I thought I’d need: glass ornaments, simple acrylic paint and a small amount of competence.

What I actually needed: glass ornaments, a large amount of skill, and Martha Stewart paint (or so she would have me believe)

 

This is where I say “well played” to our favorite former felon, Martha Stewart. I’m standing in the glass ornament aisle, and guess what brand of acrylic paint is located there? Martha’s! I grab it immediately, ignoring the $3.49 a bottle price tag, as I was so excited to work on my project. As I wonder around the store some more, I start thinking about the acrylic paint I normally buy for projects (yes I’ve crafted before) and how it’s significantly cheaper and also significantly missing from the acrylic paint display next to the holiday ornaments.

I find the rest of the acrylic paint selection on the OTHER END OF THE STORE, no where near the holiday mania and impulse holiday craft shopping on the other side of the store. And guess what? It’s priced at 99 cents. NINETY-NICE CENTS, as in TWO DOLLARS AND FIFTY CENTS cheaper than Martha’s paint. Determined not to let the felon win, I swap out my “glittery gold” Martha branded paint for the “Venetian gold” color that’s the less than a dollar. I did keep the “pond” color, because, well let’s face it – Martha’s color palette really is dead on. So again to Martha, I say, well played, madame. Well played.

But don’t think the foolishness ends there.

 

Craft Project #2: Sassy and super cool beaded ornament

All I thought I’d need: Some pretty beads and clear glass ornaments, some level or finger dexterity

What I actually needed: A LOT of fricking beads, clear glass ornaments, A LOT of free time,  A LOT of manual dexterity and… a glue gun!!

 

I got halfway through my trip to the Michael’s before I realized I did not have a glue gun to hold this project together – literally. I finally found a glue gun and glue sticks and then I had to pick a “cute” glue gun (really Peach??) in a cool design. I’m not proud of the 5 minutes I spent in the glue gun aisle, comparing patterns, but it really happened.

 

On my way home, I kept thinking how it would have been cool too add in some blue beads on the ornaments and how I should have gotten some. “No worries”, I thought. “I’ll get them on my next trip”.

 

MY NEXT TRIP – are you kidding me. I’m already planning a future visit.

 

Well played Martha and Pinterest. Well played. I shake my fist at you while simultaneously burning all the fingers on my other hand, and thinking about what color ribbon I need to use for hanging my ornaments on the tree.

See you both again real soon!

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The Sunburnt Peach Gets Engaged

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We are doing it! We’re engaged! Wedding boards on pinterest and baby fever vocalizations be damned! He’s accepted my crazy and we are taking the plunge and this is awesome!!!

 

Wow. That’s a lot of verbal diarrhea right there. But I think it’s affective at getting the points across.

 

So the BBE proposed about 3 weeks ago, and we’re both just as delighted as can be. 🙂 Naturally one of the first things we do after telling our parents and immediate family was to post it on Facebook (ok this is naturally one of the first things I did, not him). Just to prove how much Facebook itself stalks its members within minutes my ads on the side had changed:

 

 

Seriously?? I mean, come on FB. That’s not even subtle anymore.

And speaking of seriously, we really are seriously happy and excited. It’s crazy: sometimes while we’re laughing or talking or watching TV we’ll both just stop and stare at each other, and my heart just melts. I’ve never felt so happy or so blessed. I found the person I want to spend the rest of my life with. How lucky am I???? I just hope we don’t make anyone puke when they come in contact with, as Messy Jessy puts it, our “love bubble”.

 

Speaking of Messy Jessy, I’ve already asked her to be my maid of honor!! I’m pretty sure she’s going to rock at this – if it’s even possible, she’s more excited than I am about our wedding! She and my two sisters will stand up with me in a small wedding on an island in the Bahamas. Since she and my two sisters are both skinny bitches, I’ve placed them all on 4,000 calorie a day diets, which they are to follow up until our wedding day in September 2013. Sure, they’ll probably have heart problems, shortness of breath and need to have  their blood pressure taken at the end of the aisle, but at least that ensures I’ll be the cutest, SKINNIEST girl up there!!! Actually Messy has already punched a hole right through that plan, so I’m going with plan B: actually losing weight myself instead of force-feeding my skinnier bridesmaids.

Yes, pinterest boards are being updated daily as we find new ideas that flesh out how we want our wedding experience to happen: http://pinterest.com/reneemynette/. Yeah, at least now I can pin to my 3 wedding boards without him rolling his eyes… much. 🙂

Oh, and by the way… I’m sure my future blogs will have random wedding tidbits but you can get the full scoop on  our wedding and engagement escapades on http://ourbigfatcruiselinewedding.wordpress.com!

Anyhoo… here’s our engagement story, from my POV and the BBE’s. 🙂 That’s right, the BBE gets a guest spot on my blog this week 🙂 Now that we’re engaged, does his name change to Best Fiance Ever? BFE??

 

Ok, now for my Side of the Engagement Story:

“I just remember getting a random text one Saturday afternoon, asking if I wanted to go to watch fireworks the following night. Fireworks being one of my favorite things to do, I naturally said yes! He asked which location was my favorite and insisted on us going there.

So on a balmy Sunday evening, we headed over to EPCOT to watch fireworks, share a funny cake and cuddle. It was shaping up to be a great night. As the fireworks burst overhead, he leaned in… and said…

“You drive me crazy, you know that?”

WHO SAYS THAT??! LOL

Being the polite well-behaved young woman I am, I smiled nicely and said, “thank you” and continued to watch the fireworks from our bench.

He leans in again, and I’m thinking “ok, what doozie is he going to come up with now?” and He says…

“But I love you… very much”

I smiled and started to say I love you! and watched in surprise as he slid down off the bench and onto one knee and popped a ring box out of his pocket. Right there, in the middle of the park, in one of my most favorite places in the world, this man I loved more than anything was asking me the BIG QUESTION. Being the polite well-behaved woman that I am, I shrieked “What are you doing! What are you doing?!?” over and over. I couldn’t even hear his next words.

His eyes just beamed at me, and there was nothing to say but yes. I hugged him tight so that he wouldn’t see my tears – tears of joy.

The only thing I remember thinking next was “dang, if I’d known I was getting a proposal I probably would have worn a cuter dress and washed my hair”. Typical. Just goes to show that sometimes it doesn’t matter.”

🙂

 

And a word from the BFE:

I can’t remember when exactly I decided to propose to her, but I know I’d been thinking of it for a while. My biggest hang-up was not having a ring. Of course I wanted to do it right and have a nice shiny ring to give her, but those things are pricey! Finally I’d saved up enough and decided that the moment had arrived. But first I had to decide which shiny pretty thing to get her. That’s where a couple of her friends come in. I enlisted them as my secret agents to help me pick out her newest piece of jewelry. After a few dozen emails back and forth the decision was made!

Many months ago I somehow managed to get her talking about her ideal wedding proposal. Don’t ask me how, but somehow I did. Turns out she’s got a sweet spot for fireworks. So I decided that I’d give it a go and asked her if she wanted to go see some fireworks at Disney the next night. I wanted to make sure I got the right fireworks so I asked her what her favorite was. Of course it was Epcot, so away we went!

We got ourselves some funnel cake and sat down to enjoy the show. A few minutes in I lean over and tell her “You know, you drive me crazy”. She laughs a little and goes back to the show. I lean over again and say “But I still love you”. At that point I slip off the bench, land on one knee and pull out the little ring box.

The rest is, as they say, history.

 

How My Pinterest Wedding Board Got Me In Trouble

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Don’t judge, but God help me, I am addicted to Pinterest.

In case you’re not familiar with Pinterest, it’s a website composed of idea snapshots. You can “pin” the ideas to your various “boards” which you theme according to your interest – for example, I have boards for home ideas, healthy food recipes, beautiful places I’d like to see, cute clothes, wedding ideas and funny quotes. The wedding board was what got me in trouble last week.

The BBE and I were relaxing at home one night, watching TV. I was half watching, half perusing Pinterest, and pinning new stuff to my boards. BBE leans over the laptop to find out what’s consumed so much of my interest, and begins pointing out cute stuff to add to my “home” board: decorating ideas, dishes. He even highlights a super cute baby room idea. Then he notices some of the other board themes I have. In particular the wedding board.

Now, it’s pretty rare that BBE really comes out with a whopper that makes me want to pop him over the head with a frying pan. I think at some point though, even the sweetest guy ever is bound to say something retarded that makes you wonder if he’s just lost his mind… and his ability to filter. In this case, the BBE made me want to find the biggest, heaviest cast iron skillet ever made when he said “Why do you have a wedding board? You don’t even HAVE a wedding! And you’re probably not getting one soon anyway”.

 

Ouch.

 

First of all: EVERY girl has a wedding board. It just takes many forms. It could be a collection of bridal magazines hidden under the bed, or a scrapbook neatly organized and tabbed. It could be a mental board. Not matter how it’s done, most girls of a CERTAIN AGE (I guess I shouldn’t say all) typically have a catalog of wedding ideas and know what their “perfect” wedding would be like, even if it perfect idea changes as we get older.

Another thing that changes as we get older is how freely we talk about weddings. As kids, my friends and I sat around and talked about what types of weddings we wanted; it was fun to play Wedding from time to time, and that was perfectly ok. When we hit out teens and twenties, discussing this openly became taboo. How crazy do you sound in the 11th grade discussing satin versus sateen bridesmaid dresses?

By the time you hit your thirties you don’t give a flying fart in space about keeping your wedding preferences a secret. You discuss it with your friends, and balance the pros and cons of destination weddings versus local (destination is the way to go, beach wedding versus chapel (beach …or maybe Tuscan theme? I say a really nice one on My Fair Weddings with David Tutera), open bar versus plated dinner (bar! duh).

 

Second of all: Just by allowing him to SEE this wedding board made me incredibly vulnerable, and was certainly a sensitive subject. In just mere seconds, his view of me changed from his sweet, slightly goofy, fairly crazy girlfriend to his completely crazy, positively wedding crazed bridezilla girlfriend out to ensnare him in my web of wedding-ness (as if me watching Bridezilla every Sunday wasn’t enough). And just to have some more fun with me, he rubbed it in a little further by suggesting that if I was so ready right now, then he was perfectly prepared to accept my proposal!! (!!!!) Are you high?!? Old fashioned I am not, but if he thinks I’m proposing then we’re in big trouble. I don’t think my knees bend that way, lol.

 

Thirdly: although I am joking about a lot of this, he really is the one I believe I’d like to spend the rest of my life with, and I think he feels the same way. I’m satisfied with taking it slow so that we can both be sure. I think a wedding would be great fun and should be a wonderful celebration of our love for each other, but what comes after that? A long life of marriage, and that’s serious business. I want to do it right, and with the right person. On the flip side, I also want kids before I’m old and wrinkly and too arthritic to run after them or drive them to daycare.

 

Geesh people relax!!! It’s just a pinterest board! Wait ’til he sees my wedding scrapbook!

 

JUST KIDDING! I’d never let him see the scrapbook.