Tag Archives: rants

*Cough Cough*

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I woke up yesterday with a snotty nose. So far it’s just been the occasional drip, but I’ve seen this before and I know better. I have a stash of kleenexes at the ready, just waiting for the “big one”. You know exactly the one I mean: that giant unexpected burst of snot akin to lava rolling down Mount Vesuvius.

 

Pretty hot, right? 🙂

 

I honestly don’t think I have a cold, I believe it’s just the byproduct of having a really bad sinus infection for over a month and then everything finally starting to drain. I also have developed serious allergies to dirt, dust, mold and basically all living things, which I think is a byproduct of getting old. It’s all rather disgusting, but as far as I know, NOT contagious. Knowing that fact still doesn’t stop people from saying “Ew, stay away! I don’t want to get sick!” while  involuntarily recoiling from you and reaching for their hand sanitizer.

 

This really bothers me because:

 A – Do you really think I’m the shitty kind of person that would deliberately infect you with my cold (unless you are my sworn enemy)? That I wouldn’t cover my mouth when I sneeze, not wash my hands and locate every clean plate, spoon and fork in my general vicinity and lick it so that everyone else can catch my cooties and be as miserable as I am? WTF? It’s insulting.

We all learned growing up that you should never pass your cooties to other people. Don’t cough into your hands, cough in the corner if your elbow. Wash your hands on a regular basis. Don’t share items when you’re sick. That sort of thing. Do people just think my mama didn’t raise me right? That I don’t know this stuff?

It makes me feel like Pigpen from the Peanuts gang. Remember him? The little guy that travelled with his own cloud of dust? It’s like I’m travelling with my own cloud of disease.

 

B – I don’t like touching people. I only give my closest friends hugs, and I don’t like bring hugged or touched by strangers. I typically keep a bubble of space around myself unless I absolutely have to let people intrude upon it, like in theme parks and movie theaters. So WHY do you think I’d want to get close enough to you to give you my crud?

 

 

C – Thanks for making me feel even crappier when I’m already feeling like a pile of poo. People that treat you like you have the bubonic plague are jerks that deserve to be incarcerated in a large nursery school and confined with 10-12 pre-schoolers with pink eye and constant diarrhea. Yeah, they piss me off that bad.

Let me just tell you what you already know: runny noses and post-nasal drip is awful. It makes your throat scratchy, and you feel clogged up and pissed off. You don’t sleep well, partially because you just don’t, I’m not sure why. You also don’t sleep well because you are afraid you’re gonna wake up encrusted in your own snot so you’re constantly blowing your nose or inspecting in case you have to blow your nose..  On top of that, if you’re like me and prone to over “self-medicating” you feel like you are hallucinating at all times.

 

Example: I took too much Tylenol Cold & Sinus last night. When I woke up around 3 am to get a glass of water my mind was practically wrapped in a cotton wool of crazy.

 Before I opened my bedroom door to get to the kitchen, I saw something shiny on the floor and proceeded to trying grabbing it for 5 straight minutes before realizing it was MOONLIGHT shining in from the windows! When I finally made it to the kitchen, I opened the cabinet with the bowls in them, confused about why the glasses weren’t in there. After I FINALLY found a glass, figured out how to work the water dispenser on the fridge and get my glass of water, I sat indian style in the bed, and poked BBE for another 10 minutes until he woke from his sound sleep, only to ask him if he wanted some of my water. I remember all this because I stayed awake after that for another hour or so putting lotion and socks on my feet and contemplating what made me crazy enough to do all those things. That kind of sick person is already too miserable and unhappy to focus on visiting their sickness upon you. So give us a break ok?

 

 Whew! I feel better after getting that rant out! Thanks so listening!! *snot snot*

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Facebook Faux Pas(s)

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  1. Posting vague and emotional updates that just make everyone ask “are you ok?” “what’s wrong?” To me that just screams “I NEED ATTENTION! I AM SO EMO!” To the helplessly emo, I say “perhaps try blogging? Or maybe get a cat?”
  2. Posting status updates that are really just inside jokes so only you and 2 other people will understand. Seriously??? That’s what text messages are for. Inside jokes should stay inside.
  3. Hashtags on Facebook. Those are twitter-only, people! (although I have committed this sin myself)
  4. The post where people feel the need to announce that they’re going to start deleting their friends on Facebook. Just effing delete them and move on. No need to prompt a discussion and ask people to vote on whether they should be deleted. Just for that, I am deleting you.
  5. The posts where people announce they’re leaving Facebook. We don’t care. PEACE OUT.
  6. Whenever Facebook changes, like a FONT, everyone starts complaining about the changes. (also a sin I have committed. but no longer!)
  7. People that update their Facebook status every time they breathe in or out, go to the bathroom, turn on the tv, etc. Again – as I twitter user myself, I refer you to the world of twitter, where you can share your farts to your heart’s desire. Or possibly? Maybe keeping the running commentary where it belongs: in your head.
  8. Attempting to “re-friend” someone after you’ve been “de-friended”. I know people who are scared to de-friend folks because of the verbal backlash they’ll receive the next time they see the person. I also have personally received “refriend” requests by the same person THREE TIMES. Should I send a memo?
  9. Please don’t make me “like or repost this status” if I like child abuse, animal rights, your particular religious views, cancer, etc. Firstly I don’t “like”  child abuse or cancer, no one does. Secondly, it makes me seem like a douche for not supporting cancer patients when in reality I don’t want to post your grammatically incorrect status on my Facebook.
  10. Farmville, Farmtown, Sorority Row – STOP sending me requests to get bejeweled, bedazzled or grow tomatoes. I don’t want to join your vampire coven on facebook nor do I want to build a shopping village. DELETE.
  11. YouTube videos… ok, this one gets me hot! As in mad. I can’t stand it when I open my feed to read what my friends are up to, and 1/3 of it is taken up by some asshat who is posted links to music videos on YouTube to express how they feel. One or two is ok, but seven? SEVEN? In a row? Excessive youtubing has resulted in my hiding friend feeds before, because I simply COULD NOT TAKE ONE. MORE. FRICKING MUSIC VIDEO.
  12. Creepers on Facebook. You know who you are. ’nuff said.

 

Anyone else got  a Facebook faux pas they’d like to share? Or am I a giant jerk for letting this stuff bother me enough to spark a blog post?