Tag Archives: sticky sweet glaze

Paranoia

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I believe that the honeybuns in the office vending machine are out to get me.

 

 Have you ever noticed that about 2 hours after eating a Lean Cuisine meal you’re even hungrier than you were before having it?

There I am, standing in the lunchroom, dutifully heating up my 320 calorie Lean Cuisine lunch, and my eyes stray to the vending machine. I try to be sly, just glazing over ALL the selections, but I know where my heart is… inside the sugary center of the honeybun on the bottom row.

As I stand there, I SWEAR that I can hear it calling me, tauntingly, begging me to take it back to my desk, asking me to claim it as my own. With herculean effort I beak my gaze and head back to the microwave, where my lunch is finally done heating up (BTW, my little frozen veggie egg roll and rice took EIGHT MINUTES to cook!).

I stir my rice and prepare my meal, and try to think of all the reasons why I shouldn’t abandon my lunch in favor of a honeybun:

  1. It’s 700 calories.
  2. It’s in a vending machine. Who knows how long it’s been sitting there?
  3. It’s 700 calories.
  4. It’s full of useless sugar that I do not need unless I’m trying to become a diabetic.
  5. It’s 700 calories.
  6. It’s full of weird preservatives (I know, I’m eating a frozen lean cuisine, so what’s the difference? Which leads me to point # 7:
  7. It’s 700 calories.

Shying past the vending machine to ease out the door, I cast one final look at the 700-calorie honeybun, knowing that we’re not meant to be. I head back to my desk to scarf down my sad little lunch before my next meeting.

Just so you know, my eggroll was not as beautifully crispy as it appeared on the box. I’ve had the Lean Cuisine pot stickers and rice before, and LOVED it, so thought I’d venture further and try the eggroll. Per the instructions, I slit the plastic covering the dish to help steam the rice and eggroll. The sauce from the rice made the already oversteamed eggroll super soggy (WHO STEAMS AN EGGROLL?!? Oh, lean cuisine does LOL) and what had looked like a delectable lunchtime treat on the box was now a sad,  bland, soggy reality at my desk. With 35 minutes left before my meeting and a tight budget, I had no choice but to choke down the sad, sad little eggroll.

As I whimper quietly over my little dish of food, I thought longingly of my super sticky sweet partner in crime, encased in cellophane and a vending machine. If only we could be together! Alas, it was not meant to be :/

Now how many people do you know daydream about honeybuns?? I either need a vacation or a sugar fix. Stat!

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