Tag Archives: weight

“The Camera Add 10 Pounds”… so where did the rest come from???

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Today the auditions video from “Get Fit With Nick” was posted up! I was so excited!

Then I saw myself in the video.

Get Fit With Nick Auditions Video

Holy snotballs. I looked awful. I never realized how much I slouch or what a hot mess I looked like! The self-consciousness completely took over the excitement of watching the video.

But then I looked at the video again. I started to wonder, “is that how I’ve looked all along?” why didn’t anyone tell me that I was a mess. I felt fat and unattractive and ungainly and just… awful.

At first, I just stayed positive and thought “all the more reason to push myself and get this weight off!!” I felt motivated and inspired to keep working. I still feel that way to a certain degree –  I am sticking to my goal. Hopefully nothing will change that. I just feel pretty heavy-hearted (no pun intended) about it.

It’s a hard feeling to shake though. Seeing yourself through the unbiased lens of a camera is like a big fat slap in the face (again, no pun intended).

What was worse? This horrible realization that being overweight has taken over virtually every aspect of my life. Self-esteem, relationships, everything. I slipped into a familiar cycle of self-pity and self-blame. Even though I know I shouldn’t feel that way, I was hard not to.

Don’t get me wrong. I don’t blame ANYONE for my health status but myself. Not one tied my hands behind my back and forced me to do anything; I’m not doing myself any favors by feeling all pitiful and sad either. I promised myself when going into this whole experience that I would stop focusing on the negatives and stay focused on my goals. Why is that so hard??

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Big Girl Cuffs

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Nothing makes you feel better about making a lifestyle change to lose weight than going to the doctor and having to use the “OBESE” armcuff to get your blood pressure taken.

I’m fairly certain that they’ve used it on me before, but this visit was the first one where I notcied that OBESE is printed in big ass letters on the inside of the cuff. I caught a glimpse as the nurse technician was wrapping it around my arm.

I was visiting the doctor’s office to get a note clearing me to participate in the fitness challenge. Before you ask NO, I was NOT at Hot Doctor’s office. I am officially off his service! After the last visit during tonsilitis and encountering scheduling challenges trying to get this appointment scheduled, I got the kick in the pants needed to tear me away from that hot mess. My new doctor is not hot (thankfully) but he’s pleasant and listens. I think it’s the start of a lovely doctor-patient relationship :).

Ever since getting that obese cuff slapped on me, I’ve been thinking a LOT about size. No matter what people say, size does matter! People judge you based on how you look, they judge you on everything. I’ve been told that I “carry my weight well… whatever that means… but at the end of the day, it’s still there. It’s funny because I don’t always feel like a big person… until I’m on the airplane debating whether or not I should ask for a seatbelt extender. I just pray until the regular seatbelt clicks into place. I REFUSE to use one of those things!

I have this terrible habit – I see a big girl walking past me in public and I’ll nudge my nearest friend and ask “is that what I look like?” Only once have they said “yes”… and I watched that girl as she walked away. Honestly, she didn’t look half bad.

Anyway.. cheers! To hopefully never havingto use the OBESE armcuff ever again!

The Last Cheeseburger

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About 45 minutes ago I had my last fast food cheeseburger dinner that I’ll be having for a long, long time.

Hmm, how to explain? Maybe I should back up to a week ago.

Actually… scratch that. Let me back up to two weeks ago, when my coworker (we’ll call her Mego) got an email newsletter from the Orlando Magic about auditions for a new fitness challenge. You can read more about it here:

http://www.nba.com/magic/get_fit_with_nick_2011.html

I don’t know WHAT wild hair got up my ass that day, but I decided to go for it! Amazingly, my bosses were 100% gung-ho and supportive of my auditioning for this “Big Brother-Meets-The-NBA-Sweatin’-To-The-Oldies-Fat Camp” gig. So last Wednesday off I went to the RDV Sportsplex, a huge sporting complex north of Orlando where the auditions were being held.

When I got there, I was waiting in line, and Nick Anderson was standing in the lobby, greeting everyone signing up for the challenge. This in itself was really exciting – Nick was enthusastic about welcoming everyone, discussing eating habits and workout tips, shaking everyone’s hand. It was nice! What was odd was standing in line, and noticing that everyone was, well, fat. We were all there because we were obese and needed to lose weight! What an odd thing to stand in line for, right? What do we all have in common besides a possible affinity for chocolate cake?

I’d never been in the company of so many big people. A lot of times I feel like the biggest girl in the room, and for once I wasnt… ALTHOUGH there was this one chick that got in line saying she wanted to join the challenge to “tone up”. Did I mention her waist was the size of my wrist? The was a collective wall of horrified big people stare as she exited the line.

In truth, all of the people in the line were super nice and joked and chatted with each other while waiting to weigh in and perform the biometric screening. Then it was my turn. I was standing on the scale barefoot and sniffed a rather offensive odor. I don’t know which was worse: looking down to realize that I badly needed a pedicure or looking down to realize that it was MY feet making that smell! When the screening was over, I hurriedly put my footwear back on and sat far away from the rest of the crowd. In my embarrassment, I’d decided that social hour was over for me. I thought I’d be fine, but one of the reps sweetly asked why I was sitting so far away from everyone else, so I had to explain to a room of laughing contestants that my feet were stinky!

*Sigh* … making friends and bringing humor wherever I go…

Anyhoo, the interview process was great. THe interview was with a panel of 3 people, all asking questions about my weight loss goals, my favorite Magic experiences, my comfort on camera, etc. I just tried to be my adorable yet slightly smart ass self. It seemed to work because I made it to the finalist panel! Now instead of working hard to impress 3 people, I know had a room of 8 people, plus a camera and lighting equipment. All while wearing a mic. Yet and still I felt pretty confident that I was presenting my best self until the last question: “What would you like us to know about you before we make our decision?” My answer: “I want you to pick me! I’d be awesome and enthusiastic and I’m 200% in for this! Pick me!”

Who says that????

Probably the same narcissistic person that somehow turns a “how are you today” question from the interview panel into a response about what a fricking rockstar I am and how my name was misspelled on paper and should really read “awesome”.I literally couldn’t stop myself. It was like watching a train wreck while inside the conductor’s car. I felt like those sad people on American Idol that have lots of personality and energy but zero talent. They come in strong, but you’re always like, what the hell????

I didn’t stop my personal circus there. Ask yourself, who says this when getting the call that you’re one of the three that they picked:

https://www.facebook.com/video/video.php?v=1920962433055&oid=74947776908&comments

As you can guess, I made it!! Woohoo! Or should I say… SHUT YOUR FACE!!!

With the realization that I was now part of this challenge came the realization that my life was gonna change… like asap.

– I will have a personal trainer for 8 weeks, who will probably make it his/ her regular mission to make me cry and hurt. For which I will be extremely grateful.

– I will have to focus more on making better eating choices, including cutting out a lot of carbs.

– I will wear a sports bra for more than just lounging around the house.

The BBE (Best Boyfriend Ever) has been incredibly supportive… he’s gone above and beyond sweet words of affirmation and support. How many boyfriends will actually go sports bra shopping with you in preparation for your new athletic lifestyle?

Everyone’s been super supportive! My boss is working with my schedule and my entire team was there cheering when I got the phone call that I made it. So loud in fact, that I oculd barely hear the guy on the phone, lol. My coworkers have all kindly invited themselves into my suite at a game should I win. In order to ensure their spots in my suite they’ve all become personally involved in my success.

  • If someone sees me eating a fun-size peanut butter cup, I get the death glare that completely saps my enjoyment of said peanut butter cup.
  • If I mention that I went to chipotle for lunch I get the stink eye for making bad choices.
  • People ask me how much water I’ve drank each day.
  • One of them stood over me while I dumped everything out of my junk food drawer.
  • I get regular suggestions on what to eat, how often to exercise, and to make sure I drink my water ice-cold since that automatically helps you burn calories.
It’s weird, because I’m loving the support and taking it all in stride. Tomorrow I meet my trainer and begin the challenge. I can’t wait to start!
So all of this culminates into my last cheeseburger. It actually wasn’t as good as I thought it would be! What also sucked is that the truck in front of me had an Orlando Magic license plate. I felt like it was, you know, watching me and shaking it’s head in shame as I waited for my cheeseburger. Yikes.

I promise to keep updating with the awesome (and absurd) path or the next 8 weeks. Tomorrow is a new day for Sunburnt Peach 🙂